More Than One Truth: The 5 Emotional Realities of End-of-Life

Grief doesn’t follow a script. It rarely unfolds in tidy stages or neatly labeled phases. It’s messy, personal, and often filled with feelings that seem to contradict each other.

One of the most important messages we can offer families is this: multiple things can be true at once. You can feel love and anger. Sadness and relief. Guilt and peace. Grief isn’t a straight line—it’s a landscape of overlapping emotions, especially at the end of a loved one’s life.

At North Shore Care Management, we’ve sat with families in their rawest moments. Over time, we’ve come to recognize a handful of emotional reactions that surface often—but aren’t always named. Let’s talk about them, and the truth they carry.

1. Sadness

This is the most recognizable and expected feeling. The deep ache of loss, the weight of saying goodbye, the sorrow of what will no longer be shared. Sadness may come in waves, or feel like a fog that settles in.

Sadness doesn’t need to be fixed. It needs room. It needs time. It needs compassion.

2. Relief

Yes, relief can be part of grief—and it’s more common than most people realize. Caregivers and family members may feel relief that their loved one is no longer suffering. Or relief that their own exhausting, emotionally draining role has ended.

That does not make you unloving. It makes you human.

Witnessing the slow deterioration of someone you care about is its own kind of heartbreak. When that ends, the body and mind often respond with a quiet exhale. That’s not betrayal—it’s survival.

3. Guilt

Guilt often follows relief. “I should’ve done more.” “I lost my patience too often.” “I feel bad that I’m not crying.” “I’m glad it’s over... and I hate that I feel that way.”

This internal tug-of-war is something we see often—and we remind families that guilt is often less about wrongdoing and more about love with no place to go. It's okay to feel it, and also okay to let it go in time.

4. Regret

We replay moments. What we said—or didn’t say. What we wish we’d asked. The phone call we missed. The visit we delayed.

Regret is a part of grief because we are wired to want one more moment. One more chance to get it right. That doesn’t mean you failed. It means you loved deeply, and that the ending came—as all endings do—sooner than your heart was ready for.

5. Shame

This one can be harder to talk about. Shame might sound like:

• “I should be handling this better.”

• “People think I’m cold for moving on.”

• “I’m still grieving... does that make me weak?”

Shame isolates. And it thrives in silence. But you are not alone in these feelings. What you're experiencing is valid, even if it doesn’t look like someone else's grief.

Other Feelings That May Arise

• Numbness: A strange sense of detachment in the early days.

• Confusion: Emotionally, spiritually, or even logistically.

• Anxiety: What now? How will life look moving forward?

• Even joy: At remembering a life well lived, or witnessing a peaceful passing.

All of these can live together. There is no one right way to grieve.

Final Thoughts

If you’re grieving, caregiving, or preparing for the final chapter with someone you love, know this:

There is no “normal” way to feel. There is only your way.

At North Shore Care Management, we hold space for the full spectrum of end-of-life experiences. Whether you're navigating complex emotions, planning ahead, or simply need someone to talk to—we’re here.

North Shore Care Management Call us at 617-615-9822 Visit NSCM.co

Because in grief, as in life—more than one truth can exist at once.