Help, My Parent Thinks the Remote is a Phone

A Guide to Caring for Elderly Loved Ones at Home

Caring for an elderly parent at home is like trying to babysit an adult who refuses to admit they need a babysitter. One minute, they’re giving you advice on how to live your life (“When I was your age…”), and the next minute, you’re reminding them for the third time today that the oven isn’t supposed to stay on all night. It’s a beautiful, exhausting, and sometimes downright hilarious journey.

So, if you’re suddenly finding yourself in the role of “home caregiver,” don’t worry—you’re not alone. We’ve all been there, trying to figure out how to keep Mom safe without her thinking you’re plotting to steal her independence. Here’s a lighthearted yet practical guide to navigating the ins and outs of caring for the elderly at home.

1. Patience Is Your New Superpower

If you thought raising kids was an exercise in patience, welcome to Level 2 of the game—parenting your parent. They’ll forget things, ask the same questions repeatedly, and insist on doing things “their way,” even if “their way” involves using a 50-year-old step ladder that wobbles like it’s auditioning for Cirque du Soleil.

Humor helps here. When Dad asks, “Where did I put my glasses?” for the fifth time today, instead of getting frustrated, try saying, “Right where you always leave them—on top of your head!” Even if it’s not true, at least you’ll both get a laugh.

2. Create a Safe, Yet “Cool” Environment

Your parent’s home is their castle, but right now, that castle might be more like an obstacle course from Wipeout. The trick is making things safe without turning their house into a padded cell. Here’s where you’ll need to be sneaky.

Swap out loose rugs for those that won’t send them flying across the room. Install grab bars in the bathroom (but call them “cool rails,” so Dad doesn’t think you’re prepping for an Olympic gymnastics routine). And for the love of all things cozy, get rid of that ancient space heater that looks like it belongs in a museum.

3. Meal Prep: Because Microwave Dinners Get Old (Literally)

One day you might find yourself looking at a cupboard full of canned peaches, wondering, “Is this really all they eat?” Elderly diets can get a little, well, repetitive. It’s up to you to ensure they’re eating balanced meals that don’t revolve around Jell-O and toast.

Pro tip: Prepare meals in advance that are easy to reheat. Think casseroles, soups, and stews—comfort food that also packs some nutritional punch. And don’t forget to throw in a treat now and then. (Just because they’re 80 doesn’t mean they won’t appreciate a sneaky brownie.)

4. Tackle the Tough Conversations (Gently)

Look, there’s no easy way to say, “Hey, Mom, I think you need help with basic stuff like getting dressed.” But those tough conversations have to happen eventually. Approach them with kindness, empathy, and a dash of humor.

Maybe say something like, “Mom, I was thinking we could get some extra help around here so I don’t mess up your hair when I’m trying to style it. It’s looking a little too fabulous these days.” Lighten the mood where you can, but be direct. Most parents will appreciate your honesty (even if they grumble about it).

5. Keep Them Active—And No, I Don’t Mean Zumba

No one’s asking Grandma to sign up for CrossFit, but it’s important to keep the elderly moving. Encourage daily walks, chair yoga, or even simple stretching. Movement keeps their bodies strong, their spirits lifted, and might give them a reason to stop binge-watching Murder, She Wrote.

If they’re resistant, offer to join them. It’s much harder to say no when you’re offering to embarrass yourself doing chair yoga alongside them.

6. Don’t Forget About Their Social Life

Just because your parents are at home doesn’t mean they want to live like hermits. Encourage social visits, whether it’s friends, neighbors, or even that cousin they haven’t seen since the Nixon administration.

Help them stay connected by organizing family dinners, video calls with long-distance relatives, or trips to the senior center (where, let’s face it, they probably have way better card games than you do at home).

7. Take Care of Yourself, Too

Finally, the most important tip of all: You cannot pour from an empty cup. Caring for your elderly parents at home is rewarding, but it can also be draining. Don’t forget to take breaks, ask for help when you need it, and, most importantly, find moments of humor and joy in the chaos.

After all, when you look back on these years, you won’t remember the frustration of searching for Mom’s glasses for the hundredth time. You’ll remember the laughs, the love, and the time Dad tried to rewire the toaster, because “How hard could it be?”

So, here’s to you—superhero, caregiver, and keeper of both keys and glasses. You’ve got this!

Would you like to speak to someone about all this? We really can help. Visit us online at NSCM.co, or give us a call at 617-615-9822.